The Redheaded Projectile

Did I mention that Jake and I play in a Rockabilly band? It's a riot - anyway - here's a pic of Jake snarkily posing in front of Brian Setzer's tour bus.

The other night we're playing Blondie's, one of our favorite local nightspots and everything is pretty normal, people having a few drinks and thinking they're on Dancing with the Stars.

Jake was belting out a beautiful Rockabilly version of "Gimme Back my Wig" it goes like this:

Gimme back my wig, Oh honey let your head go bald
Gimme back my wig, Oh honey let your head go bald
You really got no business, honey buying no wig at all.

One pretty boozy couple were really getting into the swing of things. The man was huge, he looked Samoan, he was dancing with a tall redhead in a white cocktail dress. During one particularly daring move, somehow the couple's hands became separated sending the woman flying into the stage. She went headfirst into my microphone stand, careened sideways falling off the corner of the stage, amazingly she managed to keep her feet underneath her as she listed out of control toward a table filled with cocktails in various states of being consumed. She made landfall directly on the table sending booze, little umbrellas and highball glasses everywhere. When she finally came to rest, she was seated in the lap of a strange man who was trying to act manly all the while blink Bacardi and Coke out of his tear-filled eyes.

Without missing a beat, Jake stepped up to the mic and with perfect pitch delivered the following:

If you're gonna dance, honey please don't slip and fall,
If you're gonna dance, honey please don't slip and fall,
You really got no business, honey tryin' to dance at all.

Where in the world does he come up with this stuff? I was doubled over with laughter hoping the boozy Samoan wouldn't take offence.

Everything turned out fine, I'm pretty sure the Samoan dude who closely resembled a beer truck was far too intoxicated to understand the new lyrics.