The day I first met the future Mrs. Trout.

Check out my beautiful bride, all decked out in her finery. It's hard for me not to drag her straight upstairs when she's in this getup!

This crazy woman married me in a weak moment 24 years ago, what an amazing time we've had. All those years and two beautiful children later I can honestly say there's never been a dull moment, every day is an adventure, let me tell you.

Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I still remember the very first time I laid eyes on her, what a moment I had.

The year was 1977, a short, fat, red-haired, freckly boy was just starting his Jr. High School career, in case you hadn't guessed, that boy was yours truly. I was being given a tour of the school by a friend of mine who'd already been there - being a year ahead of me in school - Blaine Barnes was his name. Knowing my affinity for eating, one of the main stops along the route was the cafeteria. We ambled our way through the long hallway that lead to the dining hall, the hallway opened up into a rather large room filled with tables all neatly facing the same direction. The whole south wall was glass, allowing sunlight into the cafeteria. We walked about halfway into the room when lo and behold there she was . . . YOWZA . . . what a vision of perfection . . . she was leaning with her back against the glass, speaking to a friend of hers. I found out a bit later that she was an older woman . . . a full year older than myself.

She was easy on the eyes, decked out in her Hash jeans and Frye boots, her blonde hair shining in the early afternoon sunlight, as we came a bit closer I noticed her scrumptous brown eyes and rather full . . . blouse . . . shall we say. In all my days I've never had a moment like that again.

As we walked closer - me trying my best to inhale my bellybutton toward my backbone - Blaine did the most brazen, uber-brave thing I've ever seen him do, he stepped toward her and said, "Hi Jennifer, good to see you again this year". My heart skipped a beat realizing that Blaine actually KNEW this perfect specimen.

She looked at Blaine and smiled and said, "Hey Blaine, good to see you"

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Now I'm not CERTAIN the wording of the greeting Blaine and Jennifer shared, but I remember as clear as day what Jennifer said as she first made eye contact with me
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Jennifer looked toward me with disgust and said the following:

"So Blaine, who's your fat friend?"

Ladies and gentlemen, the chase was ON! I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but nothing this good ever comes easy. The future Mrs. Trout had no idea the passion that lived inside my big body. It was only a few short years later that she and I said, "I do", but in reality it was that moment in the cafeteria had sealed our fate.