Sunday, January 25, 2009

RIP Uncle Deke 1943 - 2009



Meet my Uncle Deke, he's seated on the wall on the left hand side of the above picture.  Those other two people are my mom and dad.  My mom decided to stay home when it was time to go to Deke's funeral but she gave us a note and told us to give it to Deke if it was possible.   What a wild man he was, and what an impact he had on my life.  He was born in Carbon County Utah in 1943, and there he died.  He was an extraordinary person, he was quick witted, tall and handsome, had a voice that commanded attention and the most wonderful smile I've ever seen. His smile was contagious, he smiled and it's as if a warm summer breeze blew over you.  I remember many things about Deke, many great stories that are told frequently among my family wherever we gather, but not surprisingly I learned something new about Uncle Deke at his funeral.  First, let me hit some of the stories I remember:  


True Story: Uncle Deke holds an unbreakable record in Carbon County Utah, most arrests. Nearly 200.

True Story: Uncle Deke believed that the firewood cutters were going to cut down all the trees on his favorite mountain, he took it upon himself to block the road and have an armed standoff with the sheriff. The sheriff saw through his binoculars that Deke had a bottle of Jack Daniel's with him. The sheriff waited until Deke passed out, then went and got him.

True Story: Uncle Deke rolled me my first ever cigarette, I was 10.  We were getting ready to pour some concrete sidewalk and Deke decided it was break time.  He said, "Let's take five"  Deke then proceeded to roll a cigarette, to my surprise he handed it to me and said, "I'd feel bad having a cigarette without you, here you go, I'm not going to light it cause I know you're ma would be mad."  I felt like a real man sharing that moment with Uncle Deke.

True Story: As I watched in horror, Uncle Deke ran over my pet duck, (DuckyDaddle) I ran out into the road and knelt down next to Ducky Daddle sobbing, Uncle Deke knelt down next to me sobbing, but it was a miracle, Ducky Daddle was only stunned, he got up and walked away. He was no worse for wear, he only lost a couple tail feathers.

True Story: I was mad at my dad one day and went to vent my frustration to Uncle Deke. Uncle Deke listened for about 10 seconds and said, "Your dad is the finest man I've ever known, you say one more bad thing about him and I'm going to kick your ass, now go home, tell him you're sorry and do whatever he tells you".

True Story: While deer hunting, the road we were camped on became nearly impassable due to mud. Deke, myself, my dad and my brother were in the cab of my dad's truck, it's pitch dark outside. Dad decided it was time to throw on the tire chains, Deke jumped out and tried to put them on, but due to Deke's blood alcohol content, he was only able to lay down, roll around and get muddy from head to toe  - so much so - that my dad wouldn't let him in the cab, dad told Deke to ride in the back. Dad put the chains on and blasted off down the road to camp probably a couple miles, he really had to "go-for-it" to make it through some of the mudholes.   We get to camp - no Deke - dad had hit a bump so hard that Deke had flown out of the bed of the truck into the road. My brother and I hadn't noticed, we were scared that dad was driving like a maniac because A) he didn't want to get stuck B) he was really pissed at Deke for being drunk and muddy.

We hopped out of the truck and could faintly hear Deke's cries, "Yo, Gene, I fell out of the truck . . . wait for me, I fell out of the truck"

Dad said, "#&$^, you boys wait here while I go get your Uncle Deke".

True Story: My dad and Uncle Deke were working on a high rise project in SLC, one morning they got to work and found a man getting ready to jump off the building and kill himself. Uncle Deke talked him out of it.  The man had thrown a chair through a picture window on the 12th floor and was standing on the ledge getting ready to launch himself onto the street below.  My dad and Deke spotted him and went inside the room to try to talk to him.  The jumper talked for a minute or two with both of them then told my dad to, "get the hell out of there".  Thirty minutes later Deke walked out of the room with his arm over the shoulder of the jumper.

True Story: Uncle Deke was staying with us one hot summer night, the neighbors were having a HORRIBLE fight next door, I mean a plate throwing, sailor language, hair pulling knock down drag out fight. The woman was mad at her husband because he'd smoked all the cigarettes and refused to go get more. It went on for quite a while, finally Uncle Deke got up, put his pants on ran outside and threw a pack of cigarettes through the neighbor's window and said, "Shut the $&*# up we're trying to get some %^&ing sleep over here, and watch your language there's some little kids here".

True Story:  One payday when my dad and Deke were working together they decided to go to the bar to cash their paychecks instead of coming right home. (Deke was living with us at the time)  They stayed at the bar and played a few games of pool and didn't get home until about 8 o'clock.  Mom was FURIOUS.  When they finally got home, dad came into the house, took off his boots, put down his lunchbox and asked, "So, what's for dinner?"  My mom whirled around with daggers in her eyes and said, "Dinner was at 5".  I think those were the last words spoken in the house that night.  Mom had conveyed plenty of meaning using that short sentence.  Dad and Deke went to bed hungry.  The next morning nothing had thawed out, tension was still at critical mass.  We were having breakfast at the table when Deke came into the kitchen.  He sat down with his coffee and was very quiet.  He waited until my mom came to the table to give him his breakfast, then Deke flashed my mother his trademark smile, and with his wonderful voice asked, "So, Eva, what time's dinner tonight?"  We all looked in horror at my mother, we just knew her head was going to explode and it wasn't going to be pretty.  She looked at Deke for about ten seconds - in complete silence - then she couldn't take it any longer, she began to laugh, then we ALL had a good laugh.  What great timing Deke had.

At the burial, Deke was laid to rest next to his wife Sharon who died last Spring.  His funeral announcement said that Deke had died of a broken heart.  I really thought that was just something nice his brother had added to the program, Deke didn't strike me as the hopeless romantic.  When we were at the cemetary I found the headstone that had been moved so Deke's grave could be dug next to Sharon's.  It had the most wonderful tribute to not only Sharon, but a look inside my Uncle Deke's heart as well: 



It reads:

"A death has occured and everything is changed by this event.  We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again.  But there is another way to look upon this truth.  If life went on the same without the presence of the one who has died, we could conclude that the life remembered filled no space - meant nothing.  Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost, but never after the loss of a treasure.  Deke."

When I was saying goodbye to Deke at the viewing I remembered the note I'd been given by my mother.  I held it in my hand and I couldn't help but take a peek at it before I put it with Deke.  I unfolded it and in my mother's handwriting it said, "Deke . . . dinner's at 5"

Thanks for everything, Uncle Deke.  You may be gone but you certainly aren't forgotten.

4 comments:

  1. Great stories. I wished that I could have known him.

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  2. Nicely done Trout. I am moved by the stories.

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  3. Thank you so much for writing this. You made me feel like I was a part of his life.

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